"I hate my period" and "we're fighting a lot lately"

Unfortunately I can not blame the later on the former..at least not all together..

To address the first title: I HATE MY PERIOD. I'm not sure how much more I can say about this. Cramps, crying, more crying, more crying, itchy v-j from damn tampons (but I hate pads), more crying, more crying, feeling insecure about my relationship, feeling insecure about myself, insecurity turing to anxiousness, more anxiousness, more anxiousness, more crying, oops now we're fighting, a ton more anxiousness, crying continues, chocolate, food, chocolate, anxiousness, crying, chocolate, chocolate, fighting, fighting, chocolate, crying...etc.

To address the second title: We've been fighting a lot for almost two weeks. And it's sometimes about nothing, and sometimes about legitimate things. But honestly, mostly it's because he's being really stubborn and dumb. And I'm saying this after taking some time to think about what I've said and done and how I could have handled things better.

I mean last night, for instance, he was really tired and crabby after work and picked me up for a "date night". I was already pms'ing and pretty tired from the week too, but I let myself get excited about seeing him. I had these shoes that I bought for him on sale the other day as a gift, and I dressed up in a short skirt with tights and boots because I knew he would like that. So I think the only thing he liked about the night was the shoes. He smiled and said "thank you" when I gave them to him and tried them on right away, looking pleased..

It was an okay start. He didn't say how I looked or ask how my day was. I was feeling really talkative and told him like 5 stories in a row, laughing and kissing him periodically. mind you, at the same time he was changing and we were taking out the trash, trying to get out the door so as not to be late. He was pretty disconnected, but I kept talking because, well, I wanted to! I LIKE him and I want to tell him everything!

It was all downhill from there. He swore SO MUCH last night. Every car in front of him was an idiot. He didn't smile when we finally found our resturaunt. When the food came he scarfed it down in 5 minutes flat and asked for the check. Then we were back in the car, rushing to the movie (it was incredibly snowy last night, making everyone drive like idiots for sure), and he was swearing at everything, STILL CRABBY, while I was STILL TRYING to make conversation, ask him how things were, be helpful with directions, be happy, be the girl he loves.. He just didn't try. He didn't try to be happy. And when we talked about it later he said that he couldn't see past the moment. That when he gets like that he is "short sighted".

We argued over which streets to take, where to park, and every thing that came out of my mouth in between. In the end we were 10 minutes late for the movie. He said "I don't think you know how much I hate to be late for movies". In the end we parked on the street after I asked to park in the garage so that we wouldn't be later than we already were. He said "I don't think you know how much I hate to pay for parkin". Well, which one do you HATE more??!

So we talked about all this. He knows he was in the wrong. It took me a really long time to forgive him. I still feel really hurt. Oh, for a bit of background he came over the night before and fought with me over really similar things for similar reasons. He said last night "I feel like you're seeing the real me and you don't like it". I said, "I feel like i'm seeing PART of you that I didn't see as much before. And no, I don't like it very much. It's hurtful."

I think it would all be okay if he hadn't just called me on his lunch hour and acted annoyed at everything I said. I feel like he's just so ready to pick a fight with me, and I'm still not quite sure why. But I miss us and I miss the other parts of him that he's holding back right now. It sucks. And I still have my period.