"A whole new world"

hahaha where have I been!?!?

People have been blogging for years and years. And I'm supposedly of this generation. But still, I am surprised as I tour this site, see just how many people are sitting at their desks doing exactly what I'm doing, and feeling humbled as I view the latest "blogs of note".

A friend of mine recently hired a web designer to spiff up her blog. Did all of you do that, too? Or are you those people that in addition to being amazing artists, farmers, and thinkers also have the time and skills to make their blog incredibly beautiful?

I think I'll save vamping mine up for a rainy day. A boring, nothing to do, day. Of which, my life has none! So I guess what you see is what you get. Will anyone really see this? Will anyone really read this? I guess when I started writing (was that 10 minutes ago now?) I didn't want them to. But lets be honest, everyone wants people to love their blog. That's one thing I do know.

Also, my boyfriend STILL has not emailed me back. It's so frustrating. Here's how I REALLY feel: That ass hole. He doesn't have a job. He's sitting at home playing his fucking wii and probably looking at porn and eating cereal because he hasen't been grocery shopping in weeks. He probably feels overwhelmed by the page-long email I sent him expressing even more indepth how I felt last night (we talked in person for an hour and then on the phone when I got home as well) and apologizing, yet again, for it not being a perfect, fabulous, night. For not loving him perfectly and for not stopping my crying anxious bullshit thoughts from spewing all over him. But seriously, he can't write back? He can't write three sentences thanking me for my honesty and reminding me for the tenth time this week that he still loves me the same regardless of all of this? I know this isn't completely healthy. But I don't think it's the worst anyone's ever been in a relationship. I find some comfort in knowing people suck at this a lot worse than me. We don't really know how to make ourselves happy, do we? It's that much harder to make someone else happy.... Here's how I'm going to handle it: get on facebook and maybe window shop online for a bit. "Patiently" wait for the email that I'm almost positive will come just when I'm about to flip out and that most likely will remind me what an awesome guy he really is...